Dear Marty McBeagle,
I received the email you sent me from the bacon factory and the attached picture makes me feel so sad! To see you moping around on their hard, cold, concrete floor, it just breaks my heart. At least they were nice enough to give you a towel to sit on so your lil butt wouldn’t turn to ice, otherwise you’d be making poopsicles!
What? Not even a chuckle for that? :-( Aw shucks.
I’ve called the factory and told them to ship you back to me post-haste. I truly regret sending you there. I thought you’d have so much fun with all the pigs and the endless supply of delicious bacon, but clearly I was wrong. I never even considered the horrible things you might be witness to, and for that I am eternally sorry. I’m missing you dearly and I can’t wait to get you back here at home where we can play fetch and then snuggle up on the couch to watch some Animal Planet.
We’ll be back together soon Marty McBeagle.